2012

This  is just a reflection on the past year....

Dear Year of 2012,
Holy cow! What a year? Did you think it would turn out this way? I sure didn't. I can't even remember what I resolved to do when you started, I'm sure it had something to do with exercising regularly and spending more time studying the scriptures... things like that...Now that you've come to a close and 2013 is rumbling in, I can't decide what I should resolve to do this year.  I guess, I'm writing to you to find out exactly what I should work on this year. My hope is that as I reflect on all of our experiences together, I'll figure out what I really need to improve on. Lets start at the beginning.
This time last year I was just about to begin the last half of my senior year. I loved where I was. The goals I made when I was a freshman and sophomore were finally coming to pass, and I couldn't have been more happy with the way things were working out. For as long as I can remember I've dreamed of going to college at BYU, and in February I finally was accepted. To top it off, so were my best friends. That, combined with my 18th birthday really brought the New Year in with a bang.
Spring brought the long awaited choir tour trip, and as I'm sure you remember, it was everything I hoped for and more. haha, do you remember when the bus broke down in the middle of the night, only a few hours before a performance? Or when I got only 4 hours of sleep the night before we went to Disneyland? Oh my gosh, me and all my friends just had so much... whats the word I'm looking for? Energy? Enthusiasm? ... I'm not sure how to say it, but what ever it was, rocked. Anyways, I could talk about that trip for hours, so I best move on.
The rest of the term flew by and before I knew it, AP tests (I survived!), Prom (loved it), and final concerts (sad right?) were over, leaving graduation as the only high school event left (ahhhh!). I was my class' Salutatorian which meant that I'd be speaking at graduation... Wowzers....I remember reciting my speech over and over to the concrete wall in the event center, and getting emotional as I tuned the orchestra for the last time. It seemed like I'd been praying since I woke up that I'd be able to just deliver my speech the best I could (and not barf, that was definitely included). There I was, freaking out, nearly crying, when my orchestra conductor told me to just go up there and have a conversation with the audience. For some reason, that really calmed me down. All of those people out there were just my friends, my teachers, my parents, my neighbors... anyways, it turned out.  And it felt really good.
Fast forward to my 2 week trip to Disneyland with my family, grandparents, and even some of my best friends. That trip was my real last hurrah before moving out in mid June. Between the rides, taking creeper pictures of hott guys, and hilarious video diaries, that trip was a success and definitely one of my most cherished memories during you.
....Then It came... The day I moved out to go to school. I remember that last night in my bed, not totally believing that the day had finally come. I remember the tears with my family, not sure when I'd see them next... I mean, they were only a half-hours drive away, but still, life would be different.
The rest of the summer was spent making new friends, and just trying to keep up in school Like most college freshmen, I spent my first semester enjoying my new freedom. Middle of the night trips to Walmart, doing what ever I pleased when I pleased.... you know... the usual. My friend group was such a strange conglomeration of people, and we were all from different walks of life... All of the different personalities and viewpoints were so new to me... but somehow we worked together...And through it all, I learned a lot about myself. I was stretched in ways I hadn't been before, and I'm different because of it. I think being around so many different types of people really forced me to solidify more who I am. My opinions, my decisions, and my goals for the future have all been influenced by the people I became closest with this summer. And I'm so grateful for that. My goal at the beginning of the summer, was to end the term a "new me" (or at least an improved me)...I think it worked.
I LOVED spending time with my family and friends between semesters. My mom is a family time fanatic, and planned loads of fun activities for us. Between the plays, canoeing at the lake, four wheeling, and a million other things, we just had a really good time.
Fall semester... That's another wowza... Not gonna lie, this part of the year was a little overwhelming at times. The material was just soooo new. Electronics, woodshop, multimedia exploration....Wowza. Honestly, Audrey with power tools? Betcha didn't see that one coming ;) Though the material was hard, as the semester went on, I really came to love my classes. My professors were some of the best I've ever had, the friends in my major were so welcoming, and I learned so much practical knowledge.
Besides school, Fall Semester brought a new batch of roommies as well. Talk about luck. What were the chances that I'd end up with five of the nicest, funniest, easiest girls to live with at BYU?
... October... President Monson's announcement that girls can leave on missions at 19 literally changed my life plan in a matter of a few seconds. I'd always had a desire to go on a mission, but 21 seemed just so. far. away. Now 19... 19 I could do. In fact was perfect. I made the decision, and after fasting and many prayers, got started on my paperwork. I'll probably blog more about my mission as it gets closer, so I don't really want to focus on that right now...
2012, To wrap up this letter, I'm making a list of some of the things you taught me.

1. No matter the time or distance, being reunited with a true friend feels a lot like coming home.
2. I've really learned the value of a phone call. There's nothing like a phone call from my sister, older or younger, to make my day. 
3. You can't live to please others. If you complete a project only thinking about what the professor will like, you are going to end up with something neither of you are proud of.
4. When making a hard decision, don't lose track of the big picture or the here and now.  Both are important.
5. Go with Heavenly Father's plan; He will ALWAYS bless you for it.

So what's my New Year's resolution? Well, I guess I still have a pretty short temper, I sleep past my alarm everyday, and I probably am too hard on people...just to name a few... I guess all I really want this year is to just get better. My goal is to spend 20 minutes everyday, doing something for me with the intention of it making me a better person. Maybe that 20 minutes will be 20 minutes of inspirational videos, or 20 minutes of reading my favorite book, or 20 minutes working at a particular skill, or 20 minutes of service. Its 20 minutes of pure me time to do whatever I please with the intention of a long term result:) I realize this resolution doesn't fit the whole "smart" goal idea, but I don't really care. haha. yes, I think I'll like this resolution.

2012, Thanks for a great year!
Sincerely,
Audge :)

So there it is. Anti-climatic? Probably. Cliche? No doubt. Did it satisfy my desire to just write? Yup. 

Just wanted to write.

I decided it was time for another post. As usual, I don't have anything in particular to say. Tonight I just want to write.

Fall semester is well underway here at BYU, and I love it here. Though I miss my family and home cooked meals, I am so grateful for the opportunities and experiences I'm taking part in here in Provo.
For those who don't know, I've declared my major as Technology and Engineering Education. It's a mouthful to say, but it is basically the major specifically designed for future technology teachers of grades 6-12. TEE certifies people to be able to teach multimedia and pre-engineering classes. Think 21st century shop teacher, and you have the basic idea. This semester's major classes are an electronics class, a multimedia class, and a woodshop- yes you heard me right- woodshop class. I absolutely LOVE my classes. The professors, the classmates, the material....it's totally foreign to me, and it's really challenging, but I love it. My woodshop injuries are up to 3, and I'm sure many more minor ones (I hope minor) are on their way.

I've sometimes heard that college changes people. At first, I could see it in everyone but me. But as time goes on, I've noticed in in myself to some degree as well. I'm still the girl who falls off of the counter, lives out of a planner, and is a complete night owl, but I'm different. Better I think.

One of my assignments for my Book of Mormon course is to keep a journal in which you record everyday a prompting from The Spirit that you had, or if you don't notice anything that day, than the assignment is just to write something down that you're grateful for that you've taken for granted. I have absolutely loved this assignment. I've taken my new scripture journal with me to devotionals and things like that as well. It feels like I've always known that Heavenly Father loved me because he'd always seemed to be there for me, but as I've kept this written record of only spiritual things, that truth has manifest itself even more. From being prompted to check my email for no reason (and then receiving important and timely information), to being prompted to know what to say to a friend in need, to feeling the comfort of The Spirit myself, it has been such a blessing these past few weeks to reread all of these experiences side by side. So that's one way I've changed, I'm more aware. 

I've changed in other ways too, small ways, but changed all the same. But that discussion is for a different night.

Recently a friend challenged me to write a poem about anything that I wanted, so I did. I wrote about my apartment here on campus. I'm not much of a poet, and tend to be pretty corny, but I thought I'd post it anyways. Here goes nothing.

These Walls
Hundreds have lived where I do now, I'm just one of a throng,
Since "old" doesn't begin to describe my new living space,
I feel like putting my thoughts into a poetic song.
We have a regurgitating toilet and showers that don't drain,
We have limited counter space, and our dripping faucet drives us insane.
Don't forget our dishwasher that doesn't wash, and our dryers that don't dry
Or our cinder block wall that make it too easy to pry.
In addition to the stained carpet and scuffed floors that compliment our peeling paint
We have a stench-spreading swamp cooler that nearly makes me faint.
Then there is the broken desk and the bed I have to jump to get on,
and left over hairballs in the drains from girls long ago gone.
Our jammed, bulky windows make it hard to get fresh air,
and our two-seater couch leaves absolutely no room to spare.
Put these things together, and what do I have?
I have a vintage apartment that makes me rather glad.
I have five roommates who have become my dear, dear friends.
I have a J. Bieb poster that sports all the latest trends.
I have a cozy bed and a shelf with messages from long ago,
people who have lived in these walls who lived in these walls, who truly came to know
themselves in a new and thrilling way.
They learned who they wanted to be the rest of their days.
So now, it is my turn to learn from these old walls.
To solidify who I'll be, how I'll answer my call.

Right here. Right now.

Its sure been a while. A lot has happened since I wrote my rant about the importance of list making or how frustrating grade inflation is. Lets see.... The last months have been filled to the brim. Between speaking at graduation, going to the happiest place on earth for eleven days, watching my relationships enter a new stage, moving to a new town with new people, receiving my first real calling, and going on some of the most exciting adventures of my life with my new roommates, all I can think about is how truly blessed I have been.

In the last two weeks, there have been some real ups and downs. There is just so much change. And it's hard sometimes. Yet, time and time again, I've had this overbearing feeling that I'm being watched over. The phone calls from my sisters, the encouragement from my parents, the connections I've made with my roommates, the study sessions with my cousin...these are the things that remind me that I'm not just a face in the crowd. Best of all- when the Spirit reassures you that yes- you are doing the right thing with your life.

It feels as if I've been moved out for two months instead of two weeks. My schedule is starting to feel regular, and slowly, but surely I'm gaining confidence that I can really do this.

College has really treated me so well so far. Yeah, its hard, but I find that as I try my best to effectively use my time and always remember the big picture, somehow it all gets done :) I've been so blessed to have the friends I do, both old and new. I love my roommates, my FHE brothers are awesome, and it seems like there is always someone there to make my day.  Adventures happen pretty much every night, and there is still plenty of time to relax. Yup- I can do this :) The Gospel is real, and I'm so grateful for the peace it gives me :) Yes, there is a Lord that knows my name and I'm grateful everyday I have!

Well... that's it for today :)

Haha, somehow my posts always turn into something sentimental and cheesy.... guess that's just the way I am :)

Extra Credit: Grade Inflation or Grade Saver?

Here's an article I wrote for my high school paper this last month... enjoy!

I’ve always been of the opinion that students need to be the one to take the initiative to insure their good grades. Tests should be studied for, homework should be completed on time, and when necessary, extra credit should be hard work; it is extra credit after all. A’s should mean that you are among the best, the brightest, and the hardest working students.

A lot of students think that if they show up to class and turn in their assignments they should get an A. In classes based off participation, that’s true, but it shouldn’t be that way in all classes.

“Talents don’t lie in all areas,” said English teacher Debra Earl. Skill however, doesn’t always make the grade. For example, if P.E. were based off raw skill, an uncoordinated person like me would fail. That wouldn’t be fair. If someone shows up and tries their hardest to improve, they deserve at least as good of a grade as say an athletic person to whom sports come naturally. However, for core classes like math or English, grades shouldn’t be inflated, but should be a true reflection of skill level.

According to school counselor Joy Benson, school statistics show that unlike the ideal bell curve, Payson’s overall GPAs make more of a “U” shape. We have a lot of A’s and B’s, hardly any C’s and quite a few failing grades. There are a lot of things that contribute to this problem, but one thing is on student’s minds as they work to fix their grades, especially here at the close of an old term and start of a new one, is extra credit.

It seems I have a love/hate relationship with extra credit. For example, a few weeks ago, I had a tough looking test coming up. A few days prior to the test, class started off with a joke quiz that everyone got 10 extra credit points just for completing. Then 25 extra credit points were awarded to the winning team of the review game.

Before the day of the test I went home and legitimately studied. Despite the extra credit cushion I had, a lot of the test was memorization, and I take pride in my test scores and hard work. On test day, I was confident about the most of the answers I had given. Then, with five minutes of testing left, the teacher called out that students could use their notes for the remainder of the time. Normally I would be thinking “score!” but not then. Thirty-five points of extra credit and getting to use your notes was just too much. I had studied and worked really hard for my score. Why should someone else who didn’t even know the information be able to get the same test grade as me when I really did? I felt it was unfair and was infuriated.

Extra credit should not be the lifeline of your GPA, but rather a tool that should be worked hard for and used when necessary. If a student does poorly on a test they should have a way to make up the missed points by working hard to improve mastery of the test material. They could write an essay, attend an extra concert, or whatever work the teacher requires. My point being that I believe we should work for the points, I don’t want us to be handed out extra credit just for the sake of extra credit.

When is extra credit appropriate? How much should be given? And by what process? I spoke to A LOT of teachers. You know what I found? Every teacher had their own differing opinion on the topic, leaving me more confused than ever.

Some teachers, like math teacher Elwood Wall have a strict no extra credit policy.

“Generally extra credit is credit a student wants that is not comparable to the credit missed, so really, the student might as well do the homework,” he said.

But students aren’t the only ones feeling pressure to get good grades. Teachers feel the pressure to offer extra credit opportunities, whether they agree with it or not.

“There is a lot of pressure to be 4.0 students because they all want to get into a good school and have scholarships. Pressure also comes from parents, and that puts pressure on teachers, so we look for a way to help them make up missed points,” said English Teacher Ashleigh Redmond.

Extra credit and grades don't seem so black and white anymore, right?

“A lot of it is on a student by student basis,” said Redmond. “As teachers, we need to make sure that students master concepts, not just load up on the extra credit.”

In her class a student can’t skip writing an essay and then save their grade end of term due to extra credit because the student still has not mastered the concept of how to write an essay.

Photography teacher and Student Council Adviser Melisa Brotherson has found middle ground with this conflict.

“If I know is a student in the middle of a very critical, difficult situation and that if their grades drop it can have a lot of negative consequences, I will work with that student to figure out how to raise their grade,” Brotherson said. “As a teacher, sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture.”

From these teachers I’ve concluded that between the pressure we face as students and the varying circumstances we face, giving out accurate grades is a struggle each school deals with. However, extra credit is a tool we can use when hard work simply isn’t enough to make the grade.

Extra credit is a means of meeting in the middle with your teachers. If approached properly it’s a great way to master the concepts in the core and raise your grade; the best of both worlds if you will. Brotherson said it best.

“It’s about learning to have the scary conversations. When you’re a kid and you have a bad grade, it can be scary to approach a teacher and ask for help, but learning how to have those ‘scary conversations’ is a skill you’ll need throughout your life.”

Whether it’s deciding where to take a relationship, facing the death of a loved one, or getting accepted to college, the school system is preparing us for tomorrow by encouraging students to take the initiative and have scary conversations.

Are Qualities-I-want-in-Spouse Lists too much?

(Nice illustration right? ;) )
Are you in for a treat or what!? Wanna hear some frank opinions that you may strongly agree/disagree with? Read on!

In my Lit course for school we recently studied "The Importance of Being Earnest." For those of you that aren't familiar with this play, it basically makes fun of the Victorian upper-class society by portraying the opposite values than we would normally find acceptable, targeting mostly marriage and love. Possibly one of the most extreme examples of this is when Cecily and Gwendolen not only dream of marrying a man named Ernest, but simply cannot imagine marrying a man by any other name. At this point in the story my teacher compared/contrasted Cecily and Gwendelon's ridiculousness to the "Qualities I want in a husband" lists that many girls make. Being the obsessive list maker that I am, my ears perked up.

After questioning the guys as to whether they make similar "wife lists" (they didn't) several girls from my class piped in about how ridiculous these types of lists are. To them it seemed absolutely barbaric that a woman have set requirements that a prospective spouse must have (beyond LDS and loves me and that stuff). A love-is-all-you-need kind of attitude.

I personally do have a list that I have every intention of following to the letter. So (true to my last post) I decided to speak up by simply stating that one thing on my list that I will not sacrifice is that I want my husband to have(or be getting) an education. I thought that this was a rather practical thing to desire in a companion. Completing a degree of some kind better (notice I said better not 100%) secures jobs for the future, right? When my teacher asked "So Audrey, if a man does not have(or is in the process of getting) an education, you won't marry him?" I stated, "Yes: no education, no deal." Now before anyone gets too riled up, I did explain to the class that yes, I know that there are many successful people in this world that never went to college, and that there are many unsuccessful people with degrees. I know degrees do not guarantee financially secure lives. However, there is more security in having a degree, and I want more security. My dad is a professor for crying out loud- of course I value education! Besides degrees better securing you financially, I plan on getting a degree, so why in the world would I not want my spouse to do the same? Beats me.

Anyways.. much of my class thought that education was optional and that I was crazy. So what? Its not their marriage.

Okay so back to my point. Qualities-I-want-in-a-spouse lists. Are they appropriate? Necessary? Should they be followed? My answer to all: YES!

You don't get what you don't ask for right? And its like going shopping in Walmart. You have to know what you want or you'll walk out with a whole bunch of stuff that is nice, but you don't really want it.

My personal list doesn't ask for anything in a man that I wouldn't expect him (yes expect him) to expect out of me (or its equal). My list isn't a crazy collection of wishlist items, only truly necessary things that I want in my marriage. A goal if you will. For example, I want my husband to be financially wise. Excuse me, but I don't see happiness as credit card debt and expensive toys.

Anyways, that's really only one item on my list, but you get what I'm saying. I don't want to marry just any guy who comes up to me with a ring. Whoever it is, when ever it is, I want be able to think of him and truly believe that we will be happy together. After the newly wed excitement wears off, after the medical bills come in, after all the hardships that come in life come, I want to know that we are rooted in the same values, with the same beliefs, and with the same (but strengthened) love that we've always had. My list won't guarantee any of this. But it will help. Perhaps as I get closer to that time I'll find that one or two items aren't necessary, or that I need to add a few. But my same basic list will always be there.

If you don't set goals and standards for yourself, how are you ever supposed to know what to look for? The big three that most girls have (Provider, love and same religion) are all important, but they just don't cut it for me as the final word. Marriage is hard regardless, so why make it more difficult?

Maybe what upset my class were the girls who declare that they will marry a dark, curly-haired man with broad shoulders and a breath-taking smile much like Cecily and Gwendolen did with the name "Ernest" (I'm not saying that that wouldn't rock though ;)).

For some people maybe NOT having "a list" is all the fun. Well not for this girl.

My point in all of this? I have a list. I'm not Cecily and Gwendolen, but I believe that you need standards and goals that you are willing to stick to. Always. In everything. Not just marriage.

President Hinckley sums it up best by saying:

"Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss that target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. If he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy."

That's all I'm saying. Same core values. Same long-term goals. Man how I love and miss President Hinckley.


If you made it this far, I congratulate you. Stay tuned for the next time I feel a burning opinion inside of me ;)

Standing up for yourself means standing up for your opinons too.

Standing up for yourself. Its been on my mind a lot lately.
As a kid, I was spontaneous, carefree, and always looking toward the future and the adventures it would bring. I was also very bossy, loud, and for the most part, I really just wanted to make sure that I got my way.
Jr. high arrives and I find out that I'm really not God's gift to the world and that my opinion isn't necessarily right. (I learned this through being proven wrong. A lot. haha) Needless to say, that didn't always sit to well with me. I also learned that there are other people who's opinions are louder, better backed up (even if I disagree), and they are stubborn. Girls especially. Drama has never been something I'm too good at (of course I learned this the hard way), so after a lot of trial and error, I learned to just shut up. Avoid the fight. Its okay to not prove that you're right all of the time.
That strategy worked well for a long time. I learned to bite my tongue, and avoid contention! Win/win right? Time goes on, and I notice that friends take on this same viewpoint as well. Yes, the outspoken people are well, still sharing their thoughts ignorant of the hurt or arrogance that their words can carry, but I always thought that by avoiding a potentially contentious situation, I was avoiding more hurtful words being exchanged. Still win/win. Many times, I believe that this strategy should still be used... unfortunately it doesn't always suffice.
I feel like when someone says something rather outspokenly that carries offense or ignorance, the whole group just stops and stares at each other all seeming to ask "did you just hear what I heard?" or more to the more baffling statements, "did he/she really just say that?" But no one speaks up. No one stops and says "hey, I see where you're coming from, but here's another way to think about it." Or, if they do, its immediately shut down. Or the outspoken then play the martyr. The result: An awkward situation when no one feels like their opinion is valid.
Honestly, I hate that. So much. I just don't believe that there is one right answer to everything, and I hate it when people try to belittle others opinions by way of ignorance and stubbornness in order to show how "right" they are. I just think its wrong. I hate the whole "victim" card that people play when THEY AREN'T A STINKING VICTIM OF ANYTHING! I'm not saying that I've never been guilty of this, and I work on both of these principles. Worst part: because alternate views are never presented, the outspoken continue in their ways time and time again.
The thing is, is that I don't really care if I'm right in those situations. I don't care who has "more followers" in effect. However, I do believe that you should be able to voice your opinion, free from argument and contention. Different opinions should make conversation, not contention. No accusations, no rude words-just conversation.
Sadly, this doesn't usually happen. Maybe someday. Maybe after high school and we all get some good real world experience people will grow up and be able to communicate like adults. More than likely, this will happen with a few. But not all.

To sum it all up, lately I've been making an effort to correct this situation little by little. By that I mean, if someone has a rather extreme opinion, I don't sit and watch everyone stare uncomfortably, rather I've been trying to present an alternate view point and simply just talk about it. Conversation should be about understanding others even if you don't agree. Right?
So For goodness sakes- stand up for what you think! Don't let your belief be torn down time and time again. Stand up in a kind way as to say "hey I hear what you're saying, but there is really more than one side to the story," instead of "hey you idiot- you're wrong and this is why!" ya- that would be a bad idea.
I'm still all for avoiding contention, (and sometimes dropping it is the best option) just now I'm a believer in being a well-round non-contender because I WANT to understand what other people think.

Anyways, I feel like this post is outrageously long, and not totally what I had envisioned it to be, but I'm anxious to post and don't feel like sleeping on it. haha.

P.S. Regardless of what this post may portray, I do rather like it when someone does share my opinion and we can discuss its awesomeness together

Thanks

Thanksgiving :) Possibly my favorite time of year.... well, I say that about every holiday, but nonetheless, I love it all the same. True to tradition, I journeyed with my family to the not-so-far-away land of Idaho to visit with my mom's side of the family. You know what I found there? A lot of cousins, a lot of food, and a lot of laughter. To sum it up- bliss.

Not to say that family reunions are usually insanely contentious, because they aren't, but this one was exceptionally fight free. Of course that may be due to the overwhelmingly fun atmosphere we all were exposed to. Activities for the week included: Bunco, Deal or no Deal, a treasure hunt, Chucky Cheese' s, gingerbread houses, A Just Dance Tournament of Doom (I won the under 18 bracket thank you very much), lots of movies, and lots of cousin time. All in all, this year I'm grateful for family. And memories. And health, and home, and love.

Aside from the reunion making me grateful for family, other sources have made me more reflective. In less than a year, I've had two of my friends lose their mom's prematurely. One death was expected due to a fight with cancer, and the other a complete shock. I'm not particularly close with either of the girls, and don't get me wrong, I know that everyone's time here on earth comes to an end, but it still breaks my heart. Its made me think differently. Not that I really fight with my mom a lot, but its made me be more careful in how I speak. Like, what if this conversation was the last conversation I had with my mom? Would I regret the things I said, or unsaid? Or to extend, what if this is the last family dinner we have together? What if.

I realize that living in a world of "what ifs" isn't the kind of life I want to live, for there is no guarantee that we will make it through this life unscathed. No, more than likely, we all will come out with some battle wounds, but still, putting a little more thought into my actions couldn't hurt.

Anyways I really don't have much else to say except for that I am now officially addicted to Pintrest and I'm so thrilled for C Jane Kendrick and their new baby girl :) I can't wait for the official update on her blog :) (hows that for a smooth segue;))

Until next time ....

You know those days when you just feel blessed? You could call today one of them. For sure.
My mind is really in a million places: BYU apps, the amazing trip to DC I just went on with my parents, my goonish siblings, the hw I have yet to have done, mormon.org and the fireside I just got home from, the 3 yr old neighbor who I'm currently jamming with, the upcoming ward Christmas program and what piece I'll be playing..... to sum it all up.. I feel like logically, there are a multitude of things I could post about tonight.

But, I think, for tonight, I'll just post some pictures. They are straight from the camera, so don't hate if the no photoshop time. haha. I really don't have a purpose behind posting them, so I'll leave any deep thinking to you :) (sorry if all that build up led to a big let-down;) )

Heard.

I've had great ideas for posts. Really. I've had the intention of posting. Really. But ya know, life gets in the way and before you know it, its almost Halloween. Does this really surprise anyone? Highly unlikely given my track record. Anyways, on to bigger and better things.

I've debated posting this. Sure its been on my mind lately, but is it really something I need to post in cyberspace (since maybe two people will ever read it anyways)? Here I am. If your not in the mood for useless rambling, feel free to check back in a few weeks for a better post. Here I go.

I've learned a lesson lately. Well, perhaps its more like retaught, or reiterated, but I guess its all the same. My lesson was in comparing.

Time and time again we talk about comparing ourselves to others in church, right? Don't compare your looks, body shape, intelligence, funness level, friends, ability-to-make-up-words level(see previous ;))... you get the idea, the list goes on. And on. And ON.

And I believe it. All of it. That we are unique, and that we are all God's children with a specific role. I believe that we are all different for a divine purpose, and that somethings that we compare naturally, just simply don't matter...And for the most part, I think I do okay with this concept. I try not to compare myself to harshly with those around me, but sometimes... I simply can't help it... I know where I come from and where I'm going, but it can be easy to be confused in the middle sometimes when there are so many distractions. During this last particular "comparison spell" I just felt like my mission/purpose in life, wasn't as grand or important as everybody else's. Ridiculous thought, I know, because everyone has an important mission in Heavenly Father's plan. But still. That's how I felt. And it stunk.

I never doubted that Heavenly Father loved me, no that truth has been deeply written in my heart many times, but I just felt like I wasn't as close to Him as I have been before, and I missed it. A lot. And I knew that my judgement of myself was being seriously clouded because God simply doesn't make anything to be insignificant.

Usually when I feel like this, I pray. So I did. I felt bad for feeling down about everything, like I was acting rather ungrateful for the many blessings and opportunities I've been given, but I know that I needed something to boost me up. I prayed for forgiveness for seeming ungrateful, and I prayed that I would feel peace, content and happy about what is in store for me. And I hoped. I once again read my patriarchal blessing and the scriptures some, and it helped, but I still felt... I don't know how to describe it, but like it was left not completely done.

A while back, when I had a similar experience like this, I went to my seminary class the very next day and had a lesson on exactly exactly what I had been pondering the night before. So I went to seminary thinking "ya, its gonna happen again!" Guess what? It didn't. Sometimes Heavenly Father likes to teach me patience. Wanna know a funny thing? We have had lessons on individual worth in Young Womens for a couple weeks now, shouldn't that be reassuring enough? But I guess that those lessons got the wheels turning. So I waited, and started to feel better.

Well a few days ago, low and behold, I went to seminary. Guess what we spent a bulk of the lesson on? Jealousy and comparing yourself to others. Perfect. In another lesson, or maybe it was the same one, we talked about prayers. If our prayers just weren't feeling as great as they should, then we should stop praying about us, but rather just starting talking about all the great things from that day that you're thankful for. I don't remember all that was said, I have a few notes tucked away, but I remember feeling that yes, someone is listening. And it felt good. The Holy Ghost is such an amazing gift, and I love when I can really feel Him there with me. And so I started to do that. And it felt good. Really really good.

Anyways, a few days past and on Sunday, low and behold, the lesson was on loving yourself and others. Bless my dear teacher, but this lesson was exactly what I really needed to hear. We talked about how you can't serve others when your constantly worried about the judgements of others and such. We didn't talk about anything new or all that profound. But when my teacher bore her testimony at the end, I felt the Spirit so strong. And it meant a lot.

I wasn't in the middle of a midlife crisis, or depressed or anything. But still, my prayer was answered multiple times and in multiple ways. It was like Heavenly Father was putting a big sign with flashing lights in front of me, almost like he was saying "Hey! This is really important and I don't want you to miss it!" I was just a girl having a more on the downside couple of days, but my prayer was heard, and I was given a gift. A truly wonderful gift. And I felt closer to Christ.

Now this experience isn't anything bizarre or super life altering, but it was a beautiful reminder to me of my purpose, but also the power we have to bless other's lives. My prayer was answered because a couple teachers decided to teach by the Spirit. And I'm grateful for them. Although I'm not a teacher who teaches a class everyday, I can live by the Spirit, and hopefully be there for someone else when they need it. Its the simple things right? Opening doors, asking someone how their day has been, looking out and trying to be perceptive of how others might be feeling (this is one I could especially work on).

Anyways, sorry this is so long. And if you made it to the end congrats :) You deserve it. This blog may be just the ramblings of some random teenage girl, but its a release. Anywho.. hopefully more posts will follow this one... We'll see ;)

Yeah, I Jam With my Brush. Doesn't Everybody?

Today is my mother's birthday. However, the picture above is not of today, but of my house's 10th birthday that we celebrated this last summer. Yes. We celebrated a house's birthday. And yes, it was awesome :)

Moving right along.....

You know those days when you just need a good jam session? Today would be one of those days for sure. There is just no feeling that can be compared to singing (well, jamming) to a handful of favorite songs. I don't really have much else to say about this.

Here are a few of my favorite tunes as of lately (no particular order):

• More Beautiful You - Johny Diaz
• The Call- Regina Spektor
• I Got You- Leona Lewis
• Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri
• According to You - Orianthi
• Words- Train
• Finish Line- Train
• I'd Lie - Taylor Swift
• Dark Blue- Jacks Mannequin
• Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars
• This Dance - Five for Fighting
• Forever and Always - Taylor Swift
• Bigger Than Love- My Favorite Highway
• Fireflies - Owl City
• If Its Love - Train
• Brick by Brick - Train
• Back to December - Taylor Swift
• Broken Strings- ?
• And of course "Your Smile" and "Big Blue Eyes" - by this guy \/ Bryce Clyde
• 
  P.s. I have no clue why the end of this post was all link-ified.

I believe

I believe in a lot of things.

I believe in laughter. “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” -Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I believe in friendship.

“You can go through life and make new friends every year - every month practically - but there was never any substitute for those friendships of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which we are bound to one another with hoops of steel.”

I believe in believing in yourself.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style” - Maya Angelou

I believe that you cannot effectively love and serve others until you embrace your own identity. I believe that having confidence in yourself is something that takes work. It takes practice. Sometimes its hard. Its easy to get down on yourself after bombing a test, or losing your temper, or even just on days when things don't seem to be going your way. But I believe that there is a higher power lifting us, and that we are never, ever alone. I believe in doing hard things and never settling for a half-hearted attempt at something. We deserve better than that, and we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to make every day a day worth living. Just like the guy from the soup commercials says "Why settle when you can select?"

“Some are young people who don't know who they are, what they can be or even want to be. They are afraid, but they don't know of what. They are angry, but they don't know at whom. They are rejected and they don't know why. All they want is to be somebody. ” -Thomas S. Monson


“Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you.”
― Cynthia Kersey



I believe in living a life of learning. I've nearly always loved school. The smell of new books and sharp crayons. Fresh, lined paper. New whiteboard markers. I love learning new concepts and finding ways to apply them in life. Reading and writing feel like home. Reading especially. An attitude of learning is an important thing to develop because one day, school will be done. Education doesn't end with a diploma or a degree. Especially in today's world of discovery and technology. I believe in finding and sharing knowledge.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

-nelson mandela

“Your mind is a cupboard and you stock the shelves.”
Thomas S. Monson

I believe in family.
I believe that we should love our families with all of our hearts. I believe that families can be forever (see link toward bottom of post to see how). Making memories of love and laughter with your families is one of the most important things we can do in our free time. I'm grateful for the memories I have with my family. Game nights, traditions, and family road trips are just a few examples.

I believe in love. I've been very blessed to come from a family where marriage was valued. My parents have been married for over twenty years and they still act like they are in college with each other. I know that keeping a marriage strong is a lot of hard work, but its worth it. Love is more than attraction and roses; goodnight kisses and chocolates. It grows. It blossoms, and its meant to be shared.
While I don't believe in love at first sight or soul mates, I believe that love based on the teachings of Jesus Christ can last forever. And when I'm older and ready, that's the kind of love I want to have.



I believe in trials and the force for good they can be in your life because I believe in overcoming.

I believe that some of the best things in life are the simple things.

I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the message of peace and joy it brings to life. I believe in the healing powers of forgiveness, prayer, faith, and charity.

Here are a few more things I believe:

“Youth need less critics and more models.” - Thomas S. Monson

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, “Wow what a ride!”
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

“Along your pathway of life you will observe that you are not the only traveler. There are others who need your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save.”
-Thomas S. Monson

“Life is a test. It is only a test--meaning that's all it is. Nothing more, but nothing less. It is a test of our convictions and priorities, our faith and faithfulness, our patience and resilience, and in the end, our ultimate desires. It is a test to determine if we want to be part of the kingdom of God more than we want anything else.”
-Sheri L. Dew

Lastly, I believe in being Happy.

As I try to get back on a regular blogging schedule, I wonder, what makes a blog interesting? Which entries from my favorite blogs do I most enjoy? The ones that make me laugh, cry, more aware, smile? All the above and more? Do the pictures I post tell a story? Perhaps this one does. Or this one. Three guesses what happened on this night with my friends :) That's right, my friend Mercedes' car fell apart. So what did my Eagle Scout friends do to solve the problem? That's right. Bandaids.
What about this pic? What story does this picture tell? The obvious story is the the fan loyalty of these five boys. Is that it? Does the story stop there? I don't think so. Perhaps their stories are more hidden. This picture for example. Though it may appear to be just a picture of a pond, it tells nothing of the fond memories made there. It doesn't express the joy of family weenie roasts, frog catching, or turtle watching.


My point? From now on I'm going to make an effort to post pictures with stories. Like these:
I hope you enjoy these pics as much as I do! Now a question for you (the maybe two people who will ever see this), what makes a post interesting for you?